Holy secret
by ladyjellyfish
Summary: Their relationship was nothing else anymore than sex. Since he couldn t get the man to talk to him, he had no other choice, than to resort to desperate measures. He had to shake the man somehow but this is not what he had planned.  GrimmIchi maleXmale
1. Chapter 1

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**WARNIN: maleXmale**

**DISCLAIMER: I don´t own these guys.**

**AN:/ I tried a different writing style here. Tell me what you think. Does it work or is it confusing?**

Ichigo lied on the bed. His toned body was covered in tiny droplets of sweat, which made the red head shiver now, that the heat from the intimate dance before was dying out. He felt cold. As the young man lied there, he inspected the figure that lied right beside him. Ichigo fell deep in thought.

When he is sleeping, he looks so peaceful, calm I don´t think that serene expression will ever find its way to his face while he is awake. He is not frowning. I like it. Is he purring? Sometimes he reminds a huge feline, which is protecting its prey from other predators. He is so possessive and still, he´s so beautiful... I´m not sure if I can handle this anymore. I love him. It hurts. Does he really care about me? He says he does but he has cheated on me… His temper is so fierce. I guess that's the reason I fell for him. It hurts to think. He´s hurt me so many times already. I need some space. He´ll be angry. If I leave now I can make it. If I wait and he wakes, then he´ll probably chain me to the bed for trying to leave.

The red head raised himself up, trying to be extremely careful so he wouldn´t wake up the teal haired man, who was still asleep. Ichigo let the sheet fall to the bed exposing his naked form. With feather light steps he made his way to the wardrobe. The red head opened the door as carefully as he could and when he got it open he took a bag, where he threw few shirts, pants, socks and underwear. He took his cell phone and wallet from the night stand and dropped them to the bag together with the clothes. It took about ten minutes from Ichigo to gather everything he thought he would need.

Ichigo walked away from the room heading downstairs with the bag in his hand. He lowered the bag to the floor while he was looking through the jackets to find his own. He picked one, a dark brown colored winter jacket and put it on.

The red head picked up the bag from the floor and put his hand to the doorknob but found himself unable to turn it. He sighed and let go of the bag he was holding, it fell to the floor with a silent thud. Without taking off his shoes or jacket he turned around and climbed the stairs back up. Ichigo opened the bedroom door, finding the teal haired man right where he had left him. Ichigo walked to the other side of the bed and bend over the older male. His face hovered only few inches above the others. A painful smile spread to the red heads lips. Ichigo closed his eyes and lightly kissed the others temple. The red head withdrew few inches and with a quiet voice whispered.

"Grimmjow... "The sleeping figure didn´t react so with that he gently buried his face to the older man's hair, inhaling the smell of it, then withdrawing and first walking away from the bedroom, down the stairs, opening the outdoor, closing it, starting to walk away from their apartment. Ichigo had never been one to get emotional easily but he soon found out that there was nothing he could do to stop the warm droplets falling from his eyes, as he found stopping them useless he continued walking letting the tears roll down his cheeks that were slowly turning red from the cold. Snow was silently falling from the sky covering the red heads tracks.

The streets of Karakura were silent. There was no one to be seen and no one to see him and he preferred it that way. He didn´t want anyone to see him cry. He was not weak, just in love. Ichigo found it hard to digest that he had actually fallen for someone so bad that leaving them behind would actually make him physically feel nauseous. If he would be completely honest with himself he would admit that before meeting the teal haired man, he had not believed in love. Or to be more precise, he hadn´t believed he would ever fall in love. Ichigo had known for long that he was different from his friends. He would not enjoy checking out girls, while hanging around the mall nor would he accept any of the many confessions he had gotten. The red head hadn´t felt anything for them. Instead he had noticed that he kept checking guys everywhere he went and from that he had gotten extremely contradicted feelings. Ichigo was raised in a Lutheran family, so his religion, what he believed in, was all against what he felt in his heart. Before the red head met Grimmjow, he had spent over 3-years tormenting and punishing himself for what he was. It was Grimmjow, who finally made him realize that he was good just the way he was and he didn´t need to apologize or change for anyone. Not for his friends, or family and definitely not for God. He still felt some guilt. It was sort of like he had betrayed God. Ichigo´s steps slowed and finally he stopped altogether. He turned his face towards the sky. The feel of cold snowflakes falling to his face was calming. The tears had stopped flowing and were only a distant memory now. Ichigo closed his eyes, letting his thoughts wander as the snowflakes kept dancing in the air, quietly falling.

Where had the man he loved gone to? When had Grimmjow started to change or was it he himself who had changed? Had he always been like that and the gentle memories of the teal haired man were only an illusion? Ichigo felt like a deep, dark, endless abyss had grown between them and separated them. He couldn´t understand how things had gotten to this point. Their relationship was nothing else anymore than sex.

They used to do things together. Simple things, like cook together, go shop the groceries and sometimes just simply sit at home and watch some random movie from the television. It didn´t matter what movie. They would never be there to find out how it ended anyways, since they always lost their interest before the movie had even reach the midsection. They improvised some more pleasant activities in the bedroom. Their relationship had worked so well. It wasn´t perfect, they argued but it was completely normal. No couple agreed over every single thing and they were no exception on that part but lately things had gotten a little weird to the red heads liking. The teal haired man had gotten extremely irritated and his temper would burst from the tiniest provocation. He was snapping to the red head, completely ignoring his feelings and needs and what about the sex? It had been more than just sex in Ichigo´s opinion. Before they weren´t having sex, they were making love. This was one of the things that the red head had first acknowledged. Ichigo felt like he was just being used.

He wasn´t sure of his partners feelings and since he couldn´t get the man to talk to him, he had no other choice, than to resort to desperate measures. He had to shake the man somehow. The red head didn´t care what the result would be. Would Grimmjow realize what was wrong with the way he acted? Would he finally open up and talk to the red head? Or would he leave him? Ichigo considered these choices as he stood, reaching a conclusion.

It was better to know the truth than live in a lie. It might hurt him badly or it might make things better. You´ll never know if you don´t even bother to give it a try. Ichigo was ready and more than willing to try figure out their problems but the moment for that was not now. He needed to be away from the older man, to think. He needed a quiet moment, just for him, to think.

Before Ichigo had noticed he had stated to shiver. It was cold, around -10 degrees Ichigo estimated. He started to move. It would do him no good to catch a cold by standing in the snow fall here. The red head looked around him, noticing that it was not long before he would reach his destination. His face had transformed to a mask that displayed no emotion whatsoever.

^.o.^.o.^.o.^.o.^.o.^.o.^.o.^

"Hnnngh! Cold..."Grimmjow grunted and opened his eyes blinking slowly. His mind was still hazy from the dream as he sat up on the bed and moved his gaze around the room. The bed was empty. Ichigo´s place was empty. Where was he? A confused frown merged as the teal haired man called the younger male.

"Kurosaki…?" There was no answer for his call. What was this? Grimmjow got up from the bed, without bothering to dress himself. The teal haired man walked, searching the whole apartment, calling the red head, without receiving an answer.

"Where´d he go?" Grimmjow scratched the back of his head, starting to get irritated.

"Fuck! Where the hell is my cell phone?" He yelled. The teal haired man started his search. It didn´t take him long as he finally located the little box, which had been hiding in the pocket of his winter coat. As Grimmjow was punching the numbers he was planning a murder.

"The fuck he leaves after sex and doesn´t even leave a fucking note where he´s gone to! Fucking berry!" He brought the phone to his ear, waiting for the red head to pick up.

**AN/: This was written during a break between my lessons. Once again I had the intention to write my other story 'Psychology class' but I forgot the data-traveler home and wanted to write, so I listened some music and started to improvise and this is what you get. **

**I use a pink data-traveler, where I keep all my stories. It helps me keep them away from anyone I prefer not to see them.**

**I hope you enjoyed reading and I have a plan to continue this fic.**

**Reviews are always very welcomed. By telling me what you liked and what you didn´t you´ll help and motivate me enormously. So please do a review if you read it.**

**Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

The red heads fingers were reddened and stiff from the cold. Ichigo was barely able to clench his hand to form a fist, which he then lifted to knock on the door in front of him. The knock was barely audible to the person inside; luckily that person had been near the door, so he was able to hear the faint sound. The man moved slightly to unlock the door. Opening it, he found Ichigo shivering behind it. The red head had only a jacket on him to keep him warm but the garment obviously hadn´t succeed in its purpose in the freezing coldness that reigned outside and the fact that Ichigo hadn´t even bothered to button his jacket didn´t help..

"Ichi…" The man's pale face immediately showed shock. Ichigo was looking the other straight into his yellowish eyes. A weak smile tried to form on his lips but as it proved to be difficult to maintain, he dropped the act and tears started to cloud the chocolate eyes once again. The albino grabbed the red heads arm and yanked him inside the warmth of his apartment.

"What the fuck yer doin' outside dressed like that! Ya trying to kill yerself or what?" The pale man was angry but his concern shone through the anger and the red head´s next action made all the anger take a whole new target.

Ichigo dropped his bag on the floor, slamming himself against the others chest, clutching the albino´s white pullover with all his might, as he buried his face to the crook of the slightly taller man neck. The unexpected action from the red headed man had totally taken the albino by surprise. He had been pushed against the wall and was frozen on his tracks. It didn´t last long before the red head spoke with a broken voice.

"Shi-ro. He, I, we…" Ichigo couldn´t find the right words but for his relief his cousin didn´t need coherent sentences to understand him. Before the red head knew, he was pulled even closer to the albino and wrapped in a tight embrace.

"Hush, It´s okay. I´m ´ere king. Yer good. "As Shiro whispered his calming words his hand was simultaneously moving, drawing circles on the shaking red heads back.

Half an hour passed quickly. During that time the two cousins had managed to move from the hallway to the albino´s bedroom. There they sat on the floor, facing each other in silence. Ichigo had calmed down and the fact that he wasn´t saying anything worried his pale cousin. After ten minutes of just sitting there the albino´s patience had run out.

"Ichi, you come to my place in the middle of the night and expect me to not ask anything?" His words could be seemingly harsh to someone who didn´t know the albino but for someone, who had known him since he was a small child, knew it was unusual for him to be acting this polite and civilized. Apparently a little push was all the red head had needed to break the dam that was holding his words back. Ichigo was staring the floor, clutching his rosary in his hands. His mouth was opening and closing as he was trying to decide what the right words were. The rosary he was holding had been a gift from Grimmjow few years back when Ichigo had turned 22. It had been a total surprise for the read head, because he knew that Grimmjow didn´t really understand how much his faith meant for him, so when he had gotten the rosary, he had taken it as a sign from the teal haired man that he had finally accepted Ichigo´s belief.

"Grimm…Lately he´s been different and I don´t mean his usual moodiness. I could handle that. I really think he´s…well different. We don´t really talk or to be more precise I can´t get him to talk to me. I´ve tried and every single time it goes following the same pattern. First he gets upset and we start to argue, then it becomes physical and then it kinda goes to the bedroom… and we don´t talk about it until the next time… " Shiro listened as Ichigo poured his heart out.

"When we first started to go out he wasn´t so…what´s the word… clingy? It´s not the right word but you get what I mean as I explain further. So it started as little things here and there. He was leaving stuff everywhere and playing oblivious when I told him to pick up his socks or underwear from the floor. Talking about underwear… One time when I had bought him a new pair of boxers he got extremely frustrated when he was trying to open the package. " Ichigo smiled.

_The teal haired man was ripping the gift wrap away. Under it he found a package of underwear, you could see they were turquoise under the plastic wrapping. Grimmjow was trying to rip the plastic wrap away with all his might, not really doing much damage to it at all._

"_Why in the hell they´ve made the goddamn packages so frigging hard to open!" Ichigo could almost see the veins in the older man´s forehead._

"_Grimm, let me open it." He finally dared to offer, getting exactly the answer he had been waiting for._

"_Fuck off! I can open it myself." Five more minutes of useless effort was needed before the teal haired man admitted his defeat. He practically threw the slightly suffered package to the red head._

"_Fine, you´re so smart, you open it!" Grimmjow snapped._

_Ichigo caught the small package and with ease opened it with the opening mechanism, which somewhat reminded a zipper. It was on the side of the package. He then easily proceeded to pull the boxers away from their plastic wrapping._

"_Here" Ichigo handed the boxers towards the teal haired man .Who violently grabbed them from his hold. _

"_Fucking show-off." Was all the man mumbled as he got up with a light shade of embarrassment coloring his voice. Grimmjow placed a cigarette between his lips and walked to the balcony door, opening it. Before he stepped outside he stopped moving._

"_Thanks…"The balcony door closed._

"He has always been like that. Help from others is usually turned down and if he has no choice but to accept the help he gets angry and embarrassed, thought he would never admit the latter one." A bitter smile crawled to the red heads lips. Shiro let concern show in his expression but kept silent in case the red head wanted to continue talking. His choice proved to be a smart one. Ichigo took a sip of the beer that Shiro had gotten for him and continued after he had placed it back on the table beside the albino's bed.

"I got a little distracted there… sorry. What I was going to say was that things like that were normal. He is a proud man and is used to having things go his way but lately it´s not just that he´s having things go his way, he is also controlling my doings. " A white brow rose in question and Ichigo continued to make his previous statement more precise.

"I think you´ll understand the best if I give you an example: couple months ago I was reading to a test. It was important one and there was a lot of reading that I was to do in due to the test. Grimmjow decided that he wanted to go to the movies and no matter what I said about having an important test he wouldn´t budge. He had set his mind into going to the movies and that was what we eventually ended up doing." Shiro couldn´t keep his mouth shut anymore.

"So basically 'yer' man is being like the most self-centered jackass known to mankind? " Ichigo flinched hearing the albino's words. The red head closed his eyes and nodded. Shiro sighed; he reached his hand towards Ichigo and lifted the red head´s face under his chin so that the heartbroken man was looking directly into his eyes.

"King, I ain´t gonna lie to you. In my opinion you´d be better with out ´im. He´s only hurting ya now and I don wanna look you go through shit like this, kay?" Ichigo was about to cry again.

"I know but I can´t help myself. Is God punishing me for not obeying his will?" Tears were now running from the red heads eyes as his brown orbs were fixed to Shiro, like he would have the answer to his question. An outsider might think Ichigo was just joking but for him, his faith was important, it was the force that kept him together. Since his mother had died Ichigo had really gotten depressed, finding God is what had saved the red head as his father, Isshin had once stated. Somehow Grimmjow had been able to shook the pillars that had held Ichigo together and now he was crumbling. The albino wasn´t sure how deep the cracks that had already formed went, but he didn´t want to see them get any deeper or spread any wider.

"Ichi, no one is punishing you. He´s just being a…" Before Shiro finished his sentence he was interrupted by Ichigo´s cell phone, which had started to ring. The red head rose, reaching for his bag. Ichigo rummaged through his bag as the ringtone kept ringing and finally found the small object he had been looking for.

On the other end of the line the bluenet was running his free hand through his hair and continuing to walk in circles, repeating his mantra over and over again: "Pick up, pick up, pick up…"

"It´s Grimm…" Ichigo said with a sad smile, looking towards his cousin as if pleading for a solution from the albino. Should he answer the call?

The red head thought his actions for too long. After letting the phone ring for quite a while, Grimmjow gave up and closed the line. His hands fell to his side, going limb. The phone dropped to the floor and Grimmjow followed soon behind sliding to sit beside it on the floor. The bluenet leaned to the wall, his eyes empty. There was a few minutes of silence before he snapped, attacking everything in sight.

^v^o^v^o^v^

"He ended the call…" It was more of a question than a statement and Shiro was sure he heard disappointment in the red heads voice.

"Ichi, have you ever heard the saying: In the land of the bigs the butcher is the king?" The albino finally said.

"Yea, what does that have to do with anything? Are you making fun of me?" Was his cousin trying to make his problems a joke? Not taking him seriously?

"Nah, I ´ain´t that heartless. I think it fits yer situation pretty well. Think about it: why the butcher is the king in the first place?" An all-knowing smile rose to the pale mans lips while he kept the eye contact with his red headed cousin. Ichigo looked thoughtful and soon answered.

"Well…The butcher controls life and death. He decides who dies and who gets to live. But I still don´t get your point…" Ichigo´s brows turned to a thoughtful frown. Shiro´s smile took a malicious edge as he spoke his next words.

"Don´t go freaking on me now but I´ve done some diggin and to me it seems that yer man is desperately tryin ta be the butcher of his own kingdom, which translated to the real world would be his life." Ichigo´s eyes shot wide open as he listened his cousin talk.

"Are you trying to say that he´s acted like he has because he tried to have control of everything?" The sad thing was, that it actually made some sense and this all coming from Shiro made it even more believable. After all the man was pretty much a known info breaker in the town. It was not that he did it as a living but he earned few extra bucks with it.

"If you want it put simply, yes. His life is seriously fucked up. I almost feel sorry for the guy."

Ichigo´s phone let out a short beeping noise. The red head still had the phone in his hands so he only needed to open it and read the text message he had received. When he finished his reading he immediately shoved the phone to his cousin and started to gather his stuff together while the albino read the message:

"_Ichigo… please, come back. I need you here. I don´t know what I´ve done but please, please come back." _

The desperation in the words was something you would never expect to hear from a man as strong and proud as Grimmjow. After Shiro had read the text he lifted his face and in front of him stood Ichigo, fully clothed. This time he was also having mittens and a hat.

"I take it that nothing I say will get you to change your mind?" Shiro said as he handed the phone to the red head. Ichigo´s smile was weak but in his eyes was hope.

"He said he needs me. I can´t leave him."

**AN/: Nothing special in this chapter. Next one will be having some good stuff**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN/: How do you guys want this to end? Do you want a happy ending or a sad one? Next chapter will come after I´ve gotten my answers. Thank you.**

Ichigo´s mind was racing as he ran the snowy streets of Karakura.

_He wants me back… Does that mean that he still cares about me… or is he angry? Am I doing a mistake. It cant´s be, he sounded broken. It´s not like him at all. He wants me there, with him. Maybe we still got some hope, maybe we´ll be able to sort this all out or maybe this will be the end. Damn it! I need to go there. I have to run faster! _

Ichigo´s mind was racing a mile a minute. Deep down the red head was doubting whether doing this was such a good idea after all but Grimmjow´s reaction to his absence had taken him by surprise, after all It was so out of character for the bluenet to display any weakness, especially to him and Ichigo wanted to sort out their problems and this might be the last chance to do so…

Grimmjow ran his fingers through his sweat damp hair and sighed. He´d just sent the most embarrassing text message in his life and why? To have Ichigo back his mind kindly reminded him.

Would the red head come? Grimmjow didn´t know if Ichigo had even read the message since there hadn´t been a reply. The bluenet lifted his face and eyed the damage he had made to the apartment, pretty much everything was either knocked down or broken to pieces. Great, he knew where his next paycheck would be going. Without anything there to motivate him to move he just sat still, waiting and thinking…

Why had Ichigo left in the first place? The bluenet started to ponder. Well, _you haven´t exactly been nice to him lately, you asshole! _Grimmjow shook his head to get rid of that strain of thought. His consciousness had been butting into his life too much to the bluenet´s liking lately.

Grimmjow had always gotten what he wanted and he had gotten it when he wanted and how he had wanted. Why would the red head be an exception?

It hadn´t occurred to the bluenet before but he was still stark naked. Lazily he got up from the floor and headed back upstairs to at least put on his jeans. What would he do after that? He had no idea. What he wanted to do was to go and find the red head and drag him back by force if necessary and never let him set foot out of the house again but that would be too desperate and his already scarred ego didn´t approve of the idea, so that option was out of limits.

He would be better off by himself, probably, maybe. Ichigo would come back, hopefully.

Ichigo made a sharp turn and rounded the corner to a small side alley but for his bad luck a car had been driving the alley and it came straight towards him. Ichigo´s eyes widened and all he was able to register were the bright headlights of the car before there was a loud crash and sharp pain as the car hit Ichigo. He flew several meters, hitting his head while landing and passing out from the impact of hitting the ground.

Grimmjow had fallen asleep on the couch and he was woken by his phone ringing. The bluenet cursed loudly as he saw who the caller was.

"The fuck do you want!" Grimmjow growled to the phone, his voice thick with venom. The line stayed silent for a while before the person on the other end spoke.

"_Yer berry has been in da car crash."_

The color left the bluenet´s face and his mouth became suddenly so very dry.

"Where is he?" Grimmjow´s voice was even and he might have sounded calm and collected however every muscle in his body had tensed and he was ready to move as soon as he was told where the berry was, his berry.

"_He´s being treated at the Ishida hospital…" _Before the caller was even finished with his sentence Grimmjow was moving towards the door. Without putting on a shirt he snatched his jacket and shoved his feet to his boots and made a quick run to the car.

The hospital was few blocks away from their apartment so Grimmjow got there fairly quickly. He immediately went to the reception lady and asked where Kurosaki Ichigo had been taken. Unfortunately the lady made a wrong choice and decided to be difficult by asking whether Grimmjow was family or not. Only family members were allowed and if not for the thick bullet proof glass separating them the bluenet would probably had lifted the lady up and threatened to break her pretty white neck if he would not be told right this instant where his lover was. But the glass was there and that was a fact, so he had to manage with the second best alternative.

"He´s my boyfriend, is that family enough for you?" Grimmjow snarled, biting back a litany of insults he had just made up in the go. If he lost it here he would be just thrown out. Even he knew that. The reception lady blushed and started to flip through her papers.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, car crash. He had his operation and they are currently keeping him in surveillance. Section B. Ask there again and they´ll take you to his room." The bluenet didn´t bother thanking the receptionist. As soon as he had gotten the information he had started to run towards the B-section. The only thing going through his mind was "_Please be okay!"_

Grimmjow arrived to the B-section of the hospital. He didn´t need to ask directions to find Ichigo. He could tell where his boyfriend was being kept from the sheer amount of people gathered near a certain door. _Ichigo sure was loved…_

It didn´t take long from the colorful bunch of people to notice his presence. A girl with short black hair took few steps towards the bluenet.

"What are _**you**_doing here?" Her eyes were narrowed and she spit the words out like venom. Grimmjow´s temper flared.

"What am I doing here?" Grimmjow answered, his voice equally rich with poison. "You can hate me with all your spirit bitch but he´ll still be my boyfriend and there´s nothing you can do to change that so fuck off."

"Tatsuki-chan, please stop. We are in a hospital. You shouldn´t fight here. What would Kurosaki-kun say if he knew you two are fighting again?" An orange haired girl had stepped beside the girl called Tatsuki and was trying to calm her down. Grimmjow knew the girl. Her name was Orihime Inoue. She was Ichigo´s friend and she had been to their apartment many times. She was the only girl out of Ichigo´s friends that he was able to put up with.

"Let go Inoue!" Tatsuki pulled her hand free from the other girls grab and pointed her finger towards the bluenet as her voice rose to almost a shriek. "This is your fault! If you wouldn´t be here this would have never happened! You don´t deserve Ichigo!" Without any warning Tatsuki launched herself towards Grimmjow, ready to punch him.

However, before she reached him, she was yanked backwards.

"That´s enough Tatsuki." The one holding the raven-haired girls wrist in his iron grip was none other than Ichigo´s best friend, Chad. After seeing the look in the gentle giant's eyes Tatsuki seized moving. She looked away from Chad, biting her bottom lip, pain obvious on her face. Chad released his hold. Tatsuki turned her back to them, biting back sobs.

"Go see him." Chad said his only visible eye locked to the bluenet.

"I thought I didn´t deserve him." Grimmjow replied, his voice seeping sarcasm. The girl's words had really gotten into him, not that he would ever admit it.

"He loves you. Shiro told us that he was on his way from his place back to home while the car hit him." Chad was looking him into the eyes the whole time he spoke. The raven haired girl behind Chad´s back was slightly shaking was it from holding back tears or from anger that the bluenet couldn´t tell.

He nodded to Chad and opened the door to step inside.

Grimmjow closed the door behind him. The sickening sterile stench got more powerful once he was inside the room. Everything was white, save the few bouquets of flowers on the nightstand. The bluenet moved his eyes to the still form lying on the bed. In his opinion it looked like the red head was sleeping. The illusion would have been perfect if the machines hooked up to him weren´t there. The loudest sound was the humming made by the machine that kept Ichigo breathing.

The older man walked slowly closer, taking in every little detail. His mind was a mess. He´d never allowed anyone near him like he had allowed Ichigo and although he had started to distance himself from the orange haired youth he couldn´t deny his feeling of loss now. There was also fear, fear of losing the berry. That he would never again open his eyes and look at him with his chocolate brown orbs.

For the first time in his life, Grimmjow was truly scared.

He ran his fingers through Ichigo´s hair as he inspected the damage done to his lover.

"My fault, I guess so. If I´d treated you better we´d probably still be in bed, together." Grimmjow bent to place a kiss to the red head´s forehead. The bluenet sat down on the chair beside the bed and took a hold of Ichigo´s hand.

"Yo, Ichi. Remember the school ball we went together? Things were good to us then." Grimmjow´s voice sounded tired and defeated as he spoke.

"_I´m not so sure about this Grimm, people will stare." Ichigo was fidgeting as Grimmjow led him to the gymnasium where the ball was to take a place. Grimmjow stopped and placed both of his hands to the red head´s shoulders. _

"_It´ll be fine. Besides weren´t you the one who said that you´d want to go now that your school finally agreed to let students to bring dates outside of the school?" Grimmjow said as he fixed Ichigo´s bowtie._

"_I know, I´m just…nervous okay." Ichigo´s voice got a little fight back into it. He didn´t want to seem weak._

"_That´s the spirit." Grimmjow grinned and pulled Ichigo closer taking a hold of his suit jacket and when their bodies were pressed together he slid his arms to hold Ichigo´s waist. The older man crashed their lips together into a passionate kiss. Ichigo was taken by surprise by this action so before he knew it the bluenet had his tongue in his mouth, coaxing him to play and play they did until air started to become a serious issue and Grimmjow broke the kiss. The bluenet licked his lips as a smug grin formed._

_They held hands and stepped to the hall. It was decorated and many couples were dancing on the floor._

"_May I?" Grimmjow asked and bowed to his lover, knowing full well that they were being stared and that this was thoroughly turning his berry to a nice shade of pink. Ichigo pulled his lover up and whispered to him to stop, that it was embarrassing. In a swift movement Grimmjow had moved them to the dance floor and taken the proper stance. He then raised an eyebrow and his grin grew to whole other proportions._

_And what happened then? They danced you silly. First it was awkward. Ichigo kept thinking about all the people around him but soon he was concentrating on keeping up with Grimmjow´s pace. Quite a many people were probably still staring at them but even if they were Ichigo or Grimmjow for the matter weren´t aware of it. They were solely concentrating on each other._

Grimmjow finished telling the memory. He looked for signs to tell him that Ichigo heard him, some reaction but he didn´t get any. Ichigo was in a coma and there seemed to be nothing he could do to help.

He hated feeling this helpless and scared.

"Ichi, wake up, please."

**AN/:**

**I´m sorry my updates have been very few and far apart but at the moment it would seem that is all I can manage. My life is seriously being a bitch to me. **

**Thank you for reading and please review they are such a motivation for me.**

**EDIT: Made some changes.**


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